I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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