i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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