if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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