He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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