An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
