i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
