he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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