When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
