Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
