call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
