Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
