i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
