so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
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he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
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Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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