a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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