Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize