working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Shame - the story of my life.
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