Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I didn't shave. On purpose
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize