You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
