ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
