Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
