Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I think I am morally bankrupt
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
