Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
