Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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