I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
