Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
