are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
