What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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