i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
