Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize