Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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