so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
