There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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