dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
