Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We have started to decorate penises.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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