I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
There r osticjed everywhere
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
