grandma shit on top of the toilet
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
