maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
