Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
