Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
