this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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