Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i drank out of a bidet.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
