i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
she woke up with a sticky ear
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize