I wanna bring you to show and tell
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
