Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
