it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize