this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
i now understand why vodka
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize