This girl is more easily done than said...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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