There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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