Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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