it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
They are going to name an STD after you.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
