I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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