I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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