and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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