Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize