I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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