yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
