question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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