So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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