I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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