"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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