I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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