remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Randomize
