It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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