If that was your dad, he is hot
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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