I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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