; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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