Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
